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Being controlling is not really such a bad idea. Sometimes you need to take the lead especially if you’re the boss or if nobody’s taking the initiative. It becomes extremely bad, though, if people start to feel suffocated with your behavior. They become annoyed and limited. Being a controlling freak in a relationship will mean driving your partner toward freedom.
Getting rid of a habit is not that easy. After all, you may have been growing up with such. However, that doesn’t mean it cannot happen. Take the first steps to more relaxed you with these tips:
Know the degree of your control. As mentioned, there are times when you have to take the rein. In these cases, you should not let go of your full control. The task, however, is knowing when these instances are. Moreover, you have to assess your level of control. In a scale of 1 to 5, which degree do you belong?
Determine the reason for your high control. There are plenty of reasons why you want to take control. For one, you may be anxious of the outcome, so you want to veer it away toward your personal goals or vision. It’s also possible you don’t trust anyone but yourself, or you see the others as more inferior as you.
When you know the real reason for your control, it’s easier for you to find the right solutions.
Pause for a moment. If you feel like you’re on the verge of being controlling, stop. Take a deep breath and don’t say a word. If you have somebody else with you and you’re in the process of controlling the other person’s action, say this: “What do you want to do?” Then allow the person to take the lead. It will take some time, but you’ll definitely get used to having someone as the leader.
Meditate. Meditation is effective for people who are controlling. First they remove the tension of the body, which usually happens when you are in control. This is because you put too much pressure on yourself. You will feel more relaxed with proper breathing.
You can also use meditation as an opportunity to place subliminal messages into your subconscious. You can repeat the following subliminal messages while you’re in a meditative state:
- I am not a controlling person.
- I trust the people around me.
- I free myself from the negative emotions that cause me to be controlling.
- I can beat this terrible sense of control.
As you chant these subliminal messages, you will notice how your heart rate slows down, and your shoulders and back become more relaxed. You can also start changing your belief. You will believe that you can definitely do something to change your present mind-set.
Take up something that will teach you discipline. When you have discipline, you will learn how to regulate your sense of control. These include taking up sports or a new hobby. In fact, a series of exercises can also teach you to be more restrained in your movements.
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Source by Nelson Berry